I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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