I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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