He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
