No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
