there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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