Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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