haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
