Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
