New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
