my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize