Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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