no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
