Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
