If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
ok first of all what the fuck
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
