hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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