I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Success! We fucked roommates!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
