Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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