We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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