is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
