im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
