Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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