I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
