Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
