I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
How's work?
Spinning.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
