i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
