what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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