its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize