i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
