just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize