I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
