But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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