Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
