Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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