I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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