When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
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