I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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