why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
