I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
