As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
