Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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