3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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