Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
