im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
