Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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