if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
