I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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