okay pat passed out under dana's car
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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