Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Duck Duck Cougar?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
it's like iHOP with fire
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
