u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
