She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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