Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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