i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
