he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
