i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
