Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
