No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
