u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Randomize
