I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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