I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
