The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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