how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
a search helicopter?!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The Olympian is in my bed
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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